What is harmful sexual behaviour (HSB)?

Harmful Sexual Behaviour is described by the NSPCC as “developmentally inappropriate sexual behaviour displayed by children and young people which is harmful or abusive” (Hackett, S. (2014) Children and young people with harmful sexual behaviours. London: Research in Practice). The words “harmful” and “abusive” are key here and must be considered when examining the presenting behaviours.

It is difficult to know the exact number of children and young people who are affected by this topic due to there being little research in this area and concerns around underrepresentation due to the stigma and shame felt by those affected. The National Police Chief Report (2022) noted that there were 106,984 child sexual abuse offences reported in 2022. 52% of these (55631) were reports of children aged 10-17 offending against other children. The most common age group affected were 14-year-olds. The report does not include incidences of harmful sexual behaviour affecting children younger than aged 10 and only includes data on cases which were reported to the Police; it is highly probably that this number is greater.

The different types of sexual behaviours

Developmentally appropriate behaviour is centred in curiosity or playfulness between those involved, with shared decision-making taking place. It occurs between children of a similar chronological age; stage of development; physical size and where there is already a familiarity between the children. Developmentally appropriate behaviour does not result in physical or emotional harm to either party. An example of this may be two 15-year-olds who are exploring each other’s bodies in a consensual way or a four-year-old who shares a bath with her two-year-old brother and asks, “What’s that?” whilst pointing at his different genitals. It could also be a nine-year old boy who asks where babies come from or asks questions about how sex happens.

Problematic sexual behaviour is behaviour, which is developmentally inappropriate or socially unexpected, where there isn’t an obvious or intended element of victimisation or abuse.

An example of this could be a 9-year-old boy who repeatedly asks questions about sexual activity, despite an answer having been given. His questions are not intended to harm or abuse anybody, although they may make us uncomfortable. What else is going on for this child? Why are our answers not meeting his needs?

Being curious about the behaviour will support our understanding and lead to more helpful and impactful interventions.

How to identify harmful sexual behaviours

Harmful Sexual Behaviour can look like a variety of different things in a range of contexts however the common theme is the harmful and/ or abusive nature of this. When trying to discern if the presenting behaviour is sexually harmful, problematic or developmentally appropriate we need to consider the chronological ages of the children involved and their stage of development; we need to consider the power dynamic between the children involved and further context around the behaviours displayed.

It is difficult to give a prescriptive list of harmful sexual behaviours due to the array of forms this may take so instead I will provide a case study and some points for reflection. The Brook Sexual Behaviours Traffic Light tool gives some helpful indicators of what is developmentally appropriate at different ages and when behaviour may be concerning.

Adam is an 8-year-old boy. He attends a mainstream primary school and has an EHCP. His primary need is listed as Social Emotional Mental Health (SEMH). Adam finds making and keeping friends difficult; this has been mentioned on his school report every year. Adam has been observed following other children around on the playground and trying to touch or grab their bottoms or genitals over their clothes. Adam’s parents say they don’t see this when he is with them. Adam’s school adults are finding it hard to know how to support Adam. They decide he needs to have his breaktimes separate from other pupils and needs to sit away from them in the classroom too. Adam sits inside the classroom whilst his peers are outside and when they come back inside, he goes out and runs around, whilst a TA watches from the edge of the playground. Sometimes, when he is sat on the carpet near his classmates, Adam will make comments like “Shall we do sex?”. Adam has been suspended for this.

The SENCO at Adam’s school has described his behaviour as harmful sexual behaviour. In light of the information above, I would argue that this is not the case; but that the behaviour is problematic, and Adam needs education around this issue. I do not get the impression, from what has been outlined, that the behaviour is intended to be harmful or abusive. The behaviour does not appear to be acted out in relation to a power imbalance or attempts to gain coercive control. Supervision and intervention from adults have limited the behaviour but when this is withdrawn, the behaviour returns.

We are aware that Adam has SEMH needs and needs support to develop social connections with others. I would wonder what happens when Adam touches his peers over their clothes – what is the response from the adults and other children? Has Adam learnt that this is a behaviour which brings adults closer to him? Is Adam struggling to know how to engage in appropriate play with the other children and so uses this method to strive to create a connection between them? How are we helping Adam to learn other ways to make friends safely? When Adam is running around the playground on his own, how is this helping his social and emotional skills to develop? Is there any scope for him to have social time with other children with an adult nearby to guide and support the play, who can intervene if Adam needs support? Isolating him from his peers, is not supporting his long-term social needs. How can we discuss Adam’s behaviour with him in a way which takes his SEMH needs into account and supports his understanding? What is Adam’s understanding of the word “sex”? How can we work with the network around him to develop his understanding of socially appropriate behaviours? How are we supporting the feelings evoked in the team around Adam as we work through this behaviour?

Harmful Sexual Behaviours in different individuals

It is imperative to note that harmful sexual behaviours can present due to a range of factors. We cannot assume that a child who presents with sexualised behaviours has been sexually abused. Barra et al (2018) analysed data from the case files of 687 adolescents convicted of sexual offences between January 2007 and September 2014. The research found that around two-thirds (66.5%) of adolescents were highly likely to have experienced several adverse childhood experiences (parental abuse or neglect, peer abuse, bullying or exposure to family violence) before their first sexual assault that led to a conviction. ​This is not to say that any of the above experiences guarantee that a child will go on to commit sexual offences, but it is worth recognising the link between disrupted early life experiences and the presentation of harmful sexual behaviours.

Various other studies around harmful sexual behaviours (Finkelhor 2009; Hackett et al 2013; Taylor 2003; Vizard et al 2007) found that boys were more likely to exhibit harmful and/ or problematic sexualised behaviours, exceeding 90% in all studies. That is not to say that girls cannot or do not display problematic or harmful sexual behaviours but we should be cautious around gender stereotyping boys into these roles. There have been few studies into girls who display harmful sexual behaviours but the findings from studies which have been completed state that they tend to come from particularly chaotic and unstable family backgrounds, with higher levels of sexual victimisation than males, higher levels of other forms of abuse, frequent exposure to family violence and often very problematic relationships with parents/ caregivers. In common with young men, young women are reported to have difficulties in school and high levels of learning difficulties. However, these things are not a guarantee leading to a display of harmful sexual behaviours.

 Those with identified special educational needs (SEN) on average spend less time with their peers and this means they could miss out of vital social and emotional learning opportunities including missing out on PSHE sessions which discuss relationships. This could mean that children and young people do not have the education needed on this topic to keep themselves safe and to navigate complex social situations, leaving them vulnerable to displaying and being on the receiving end of harmful sexual behaviours.

The ever-growing and evolving role of the internet has led to pornography becoming more readily available and accessible for young people. Many young people carry smart phones with them wherever they go, meaning that adult content is often not far away and that younger children are more likely to be exposed to this than ever before. We also understand that the younger a child is when they first watch pornographic content, the less capable they are of understanding what they’re seeing which could mean that they feel that what they are watching is appropriate for them to re-enact. Frequent exposure to this can also create desensitisation.

To Conclude

I would encourage practitioners to be curious. What do we know about the child’s early life experiences and home life? What do we know about their background? What patterns to their behaviour are there? What do we understand about the circumstances for their behaviour? What are their social connections like? What are their strengths? What support are they already receiving, if any? What might their behaviour be communicating? What need are they seeking to have met?

One of the concerns often raised by professionals working with children who display sexually problematic or harmful behaviours is that they will go on to abuse other children. Research does not support this, and some evidence shows that less than 1% of children who are sexually abused will go on to sexually abuse others.

If you feel you are working with a child who displays problematic or harmful sexual behaviours and you’d like further support and guidance, please get in touch with us at The Mulberry Bush Outreach or book a space on our next Harmful Sexual Behaviour Course.